Not Meant to Be

“I’m leaving”, he said angrily.

She turned and looked at him, blinking her sleepy eyes. “Not again!”, she groaned.

She knew he was hurt. Last week, she had promised to give it another try, she really wanted this to work. She knew it was really important to him and he really wanted to share this part of his life with her, but she just couldn’t do it.

She looked at him wishing she could be what he needed. But there was nothing she could do.

“Fine!” she replied indignantly, “I’m sorry I can’t be what you need!”

She heard the front door close as he left.

With a sigh, she turned over and snuggled in her warm blanket. No matter what happened, she would never be able to get out of bed before 7 am.

And she could never be his gym partner. She just wasn’t a morning person. 


Forever

It was an icy winter day.

 

“Will you love me forever?” I asked.

 

He blinked.

 

And in that moment I saw,

Hesitation in his eyes.

 

“Of course!” He replied.

 

And I knew, he wouldn’t.

 


 

Winter turned to summer, and another winter went by

The seasons changed and so did I

Lovers changed, and the meaning of love did too

And one beautiful autumn day it was time to ask you

 

“Will you love me forever?” I asked.

 

You blinked.

 

And in that moment I saw,

Hesitation in your eyes.

 

“I don’t know about forever”, you replied.

 

My heart sank.

 

“But I do promise to love you everyday”, you continued

“I will make you coffee every morning
And help you as you work towards your dreams
But in return I want you to promise me
That you will never settle for less than you are capable of.

If that takes forever, well, then I’ll be there with you, forever.”

 

And I knew that you would.

 

I had found The One.

 

If I were a poet

If I were a poet, and could paint pictures with my words
I’d paint you a lovely picture of a forest full of birds
Where birds of different feathers flock together
And live in peace and harmony, come fair or foul weather
My picture would show you all the lessons we could learn
From these birds of varied feathers living together as one

If I were a poet, and could write lyrics to a tune
I’d compose a love song and sing to you about the stars and the moon
The stream gurgling over pebbles and the river rushing to the sea
Would be the perfect background music for me
I’d sing of beauty untold – green fields, brown cliffs, and skies – both blue and grey
And heaven would send rain, that would pitter-patter on the roof all day

If I were a poet, and could tell a story with my rhymes
I’d write a novel about the mysteries of our times
How we’ve taken leaps and bounds ahead in the sciences
Yet we wage wars, hold prejudices, and struggle to build alliances
We’ve been given a beautiful world, with landscapes of all kinds
Yet we pollute the air, the waters and the soil, and even our own minds

But I am not a poet, and my thoughts remain without words or rhymes
My unspoken dreams for my world remain hopes and wishes in these uncertain times
I dream of peace and harmony, respect, unity and love
Gratitude for the grass beneath our feet and the sky above
I wish we’d remember we’re here together on a short journey just passing through
For if we did, we’d all become poets – look around, we’re living in a paradise, me and you.

Becoming a morning person

I’ve never been much of a morning person. Getting out of bed before 9 a.m. has always been a serious struggle. In spite of the fact that I grew up in household where people would start waking up at 5 a.m. to enjoy a cup of tea before facing the day, somehow the habit never grew on me. 

However, lately I have begun to realise the importance of a daily routine (and exercise). And therefore, I have decided to go for a walk every morning! 🙂 

When I walk around my society complex downstairs, I usually have my earphones plugged in and listen to my favourite songs. I also tend to observe people. The guards at the gate, young people jogging or stretching in the park, older people walking. I smile and say good morning. Makes me feel good. I love talking to older people. 

Today there was some activity going on in the park. Tents were being set up, probably for some party tonight. A lady was giving instructions from her first floor balcony to the caterers carrying in the food supplies. I enjoyed being a part of the activity – a silent spectator, walking, minding my own business, but seeing people live a fraction of their lives in front of me. I was also doing the same. 

I’ve begun enjoying these morning walks. It’s lovely to see people up and about, people leaving for work in their cars, the grocery shop and beauty parlour downstairs starting to open, the milk truck arriving. And of course I love the greenery. We have 3 lawns in our society and the flowers are blooming – its springtime. Every corner I turn I see greenery with different shades of red, yellow, orange, white, purple and pink. It’s beautiful! 

I’d say that it’s worth trying to be a morning person. There’s something about mornings that makes me feel hopeful, happy and alive.

Sunday morning shenanigans: The Breakfast

Sunday morning dawned bright and early and the husband and I were up and ready-to-go at 6 am sharp. We had an errand to run (read: drop family at railway station) and then we would head out for a nice breakfast in the city – Delhi in the spring time is heavenly.

The train chugged out of the station  at 7:30 a.m. and we headed back to the car – tummies rumbling, mouths watering in anticipation of the delicious fare we were about to savour. Turns out fate had other plans. 

Our plan was to head to Khan market where we had on a previous occasion enjoyed a sumptuous breakfast at a colourful little cafe. I settled down in the passenger seat to enjoy the sunny morning and the uncharacteristic cool breeze that appears for only a few weeks during this time of the year. Soon, however, we began to notice a few roads cordoned off and traffic policemen redirecting traffic. It was a bit annoying because most of the roads that we needed to take were the ones that were blocked. 

So out came our smartphones and we turned to Google maps to help us save the breakfast, errr…  day. We took a detour which ended in another dead end. It was around 8 a.m. by now, so I suggested another lovely cafe near Pragati Maidan instead, since we were nearby. We headed there, with my mind now conjuring up images of delicious looking breakfasts. Sadly, that too was not to be. We reached the place only to find that it hadn’t yet opened for the day. 

The husband suggested a long drive around to get to Khan market. This included a lovely drive on this flyover that I hadn’t been on yet, and then passing through Def Col. However as we approached our destination, there it was – you guessed it, another road block. I whisked out my smartphone again and a quick Google search revealed that certain areas including the market where we were headed, had been planning vehicle-free Sunday mornings (although I couldn’t find a credible source to say for certain. Long story short – roads were blocked everywhere). What?! No breakfast?! 

I was determined to not go home with an empty stomach, and so I turned to the search engine gods again to locate a nice breakfast place. Almost simultaneously, we thought of a place near green park, which is mostly known for evening-time hangouts and dance-the-night away escapades. But the husband was sure that a certain restaurant there opened at 8 a.m.

Cool! We were on our way again! Breakfast, glorious breakfast!

It was almost 9:30 a.m. when we reached. We parked the car and strolled along the park and the lake, enjoying the breeze, although the hunger pangs were getting stronger now. Everything looked deserted. Our smiles began to fade. We walked through the narrow lane leading to the restaurant and saw supplies being carried in, while a couple of guys (probably the chefs) were chatting outside. Opening time 11 a.m.

We walked around a bit but nothing seemed to be open at that hour.

“Let’s go back to Gurgaon, from whence we came” I laughed. All this for nothing. We agreed on a nice little place in Gurgaon where I have some really fond food memories. And so we started the drive back to the home district. 

By now both our tummies were rumbling so loudly they were almost talking to each other. The drive back to Gurgaon was quiet, neither of us had much energy left. Taylor Swift crooned softly in the background while we sat nursing our empty stomachs. 

After a rather quiet 40-minute drive, we reached. I was happy at the prospect of getting some good food now, and was back to my chirpy self.  

We took the elevator up to the first floor, and I was commenting on how nice and posh the Club just across the road looked with its lovely garden and trimmed bushes.  He was in front of me walking briskly towards the cafe when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and I, still talking and admiring the view, ran into him. What the…, and then I stopped as I saw the familiar looking cafe, now looking not-so-familiar: ‘We are under renovation, and will be back soon’. 

At that point, there was nothing else to do but laugh. So we burst out laughing like two fools. People looked at us as though we were crazy, but they had no idea how we’d just gotten punk’d by the breakfast gods. 

And so, as the clock struck 11 a.m., nearly 3 and a half hours after we had set out on our big breakfast expedition, we found ourselves at a fast food joint very close to our place. We dug into our burgers and fries; they had never tasted so good before! And it was only after the last sip of coffee had been drained from our cups that we looked up and smiled a smile of fulfilment!  

Who knew that we would have to go so far just to come back home!

Indecision

The alarm goes off – the circle starts again

Another dawn, another day

Should I face the day, or cower and hide

Stand and fight or run away?

Each moment feels like a fork in the road

And my head hurts when I must choose

I want it all, and yet nothing at all

I’m so afraid to lose

The quietness creeps up on me

And reminds me its something I must do

It’s my life, and mine alone

And to myself I must be true

I’ve always had trouble making decisions

Tea or coffee, pie or cake

And not doing anything is doing something

Because choosing not to choose is a still a choice you make

So I’ll start today, choosing to choose

Deciding what it is I really want along the way

The first decision is to be happy today

And then we’ll see where it goes from there

​10 things to keep in mind for 2017

Last night I spent a few minutes thinking about the year that has passed, and the one that lies ahead. There have been ups and downs, calms and storms. That’s part of life, right? The important thing is to learn from your experiences and take away lessons for life. This is what I’ve learned so far, and it’s something I intend to follow in 2017. I’m calling it my ten commandments for a happy life 😉

1. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Find your own space inside your head in the middle of a crowd. Don’t let the world in. Find your zone, be in your zone, live in your zone. 

2. Be you at all times. Don’t change based on the situation or the people you’re dealing with. Let the situation change based on how you deal with it, not vice versa.

3. Accept that people may not like you. That’s okay. You’re not everybody’s cup of tea. Some may not like you for who you are. Others may not like you because of who they think you are. Trust me, it doesn’t matter either way. As long as you like yourself, it’s all good. 

4. Stand up and speak up when you need to.

5. Be real. Don’t live in a fantasy world. Face the facts, face your fears, face the music; and then move on stronger, braver, wiser.

6. Believe in your intellect. Don’t let the world dictate who you’re supposed to be. Tell the world who you are.

7. Listen to your gut. That little voice inside your head knows what’s best for you. 

8. Follow your dreams. Don’t give up on something because someone else can’t see your vision. Don’t pursue something just because it’s supposed to be done. You’ll end up living an empty life.

9. Take a leap of faith every now and then. Don’t settle into your comfort zone. Try something new. Fail. Try again. Till you succeed. Or learn a new lesson. Life is too short and there are so many things to be learnt and experiences to be had.

10. Learn to let go. Let go of negativity, bad experiences, the past. Learn to relax. Breathe.